Dorothy had always excelled after everything she did. She was the first in her class from kindergarten through law school. She was a star lacrosse player. She had a drive that was truly exceptional. But that excellence came with a price.
She was so self-conscious that excelling became an obsession. She was an over-preparer to the extent that it created health issues. Now that she had begun her legal career, she was struggling. She was asked to bill her time in 10-minute buckets. That resulted in excessive billings to clients since Dorothy would go far beyond what was necessary to produce the “perfect legal analysis.” Clients had begun to complain. When Dorothy had her performance review, the excessive billings were noted as a negative.
Dorothy didn’t know how to identify when enough was enough. Her self-awareness only had one dimension: perfect. When she tried to control her billings, she became anxious and distraught. She was beginning to have mental health problems.
Dorothy’s managing partner had a sense of the anguish that Dorothy was having and thought she may be able to help her. “Let me share with you some lessons that I’ve learned along the way. Maybe these will help.”
“As you know, I spend my off hours doing stained glass art. I’ve been asked what my favorite piece was. I have a hard time answering that question because every piece I’ve ever done had flaws. The funny thing is that no one else ever sees those flaws. There’s two lessons I’ve learned from this.
- You will never reach perfection. The best you can do, however, will be better than good enough.
- The goal isn’t perfection but learning from each thing you do to improve continuously.”
“Now let me continue with more lessons learned form my stained glass work. When I start with a piece, I have a general idea of what I want it to become. But I learned early on that no amount of prior planning will help make the end result better. I just have to start and adapt as I go along. Here’s another lesson that I’ve learned.
- You will never know what you need to produce until you actually begin to work on the product. Outcomes aren’t based upon a plan but how you adjust what you are doing at the necessary moment.”
“And there is one final lesson. There’s no greater thrill than seeing the reaction of other people to the final product. I know it could have been better, but I’ve learned that I can still take pride in my work. Here’s the lesson.
- Learn how to be proud of what you have done even when you know that you could have done better. That’s a lesson that all the great master’s had to learn.”
This was a talk that Dorothy had needed years ago. She had learned the value of self-awareness at a young age, but what she hadn’t learned was how to be comfortable with her self-awareness.