What Matters–Finding Your Life’s Purpose–Part Three
For George, the call from a colleague from thirty years ago concerned a topic that had become all too familiar in recent years. “My son is really struggling. He doesn’t seem to care about anything. I remember going through a similar phase in my life. I hope you can help Evan like you helped me.” When George had retired, he still got calls like this from those he had helped find their purpose. He couldn’t say no because helping others find meaning in life was his own purpose.
He agreed to meet with Evan. At first, he spent time just listening to Evan. What he concluded from these listening sessions was that Evan was a good student. In fact, he could be called a high performer. Evan liked some aspects of his major in college, but he wanted more out of life than money and job security. When George began to ask Evan about who he wanted to be, Evan really struggled.
George began to get a sense of how he could help Evan, but first, he wanted to share with him some facts about purpose. “Evan, you are not alone in your struggles. Only about 20% of college-age young people have a sense of their purpose in life. Most of your age group think your purpose has to be something big. But purpose is about having a goal that contributes to society. And that doesn’t have to be a big thing. Now I’d like to have you ask me questions.”
Evan: I’m confused by what you just said. How can I have a goal of contributing to society that isn’t something big?
George: Let me give you an example. Ms. Adams was my Sunday School teacher many years ago. She helped me with my spiritual awareness. She is still teaching Sunday School today. How many young people do you think she has helped?
Evan: I’m beginning to get the picture. But how do I go about finding my purpose?
George: It begins with two things. One, you need to know yourself. I think you are letting others define you. It’s time for you to learn who you are and who you want to be. There’s no formula for that. The second thing you need to do is learn how to practice self-reflection. At the end of each day, think about what you did that day that brought you joy. Don’t mistake joy for happiness. Joy is something that you did that made you feel good about yourself.
Evan: That’s something I had thought about, but how do those two things lead to finding my purpose?
George: I can’t tell you that, but what I can tell you is that you will begin to discover in yourself the contributions you can make to others that also give you a feeling of joy. Those are the things you probably think about as you are going to sleep.
Evan: I know that feeling. I can’t fall asleep without thinking of something pleasant. But that doesn’t happen every day. Is experiencing your purpose something that is sporadic?
George: Not at all. What you need to do is look out for moments of opportunity every day where you can fulfill your purpose. I think you will find those moments in your daily life.
Evan: I must say, I was doubtful when my dad asked that I meet with you. This has really helped. Thank you. This has been special.
George: Glad to help. Let’s meet again in six months.
How might George’s insights on purpose help you?
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“It’s not enough to have lived. We should be determined to live for something.”-Winston Churchill